The Three Rules of Buy-In
“Buy-in is the acceptance of and willingness to actively support and participate in something.” ~ Merriam-Webster
Young to old, new athlete to seasoned professional, everyone gets this talk when we begin working together. Buy-in is one of the most talked about concepts in sports, and one of the most misunderstood. Coaches ask for it, teams demand it, and leaders hope for it. But, buy-in isn’t something that can be handed out in team meetings or written on a white board. It can’t be externally produced and given out during pre-season. Real buy-in is internal. It is a decision that starts deep in the heart of every athletes. Once it’s made, it shows up in how you train, how you prepare, how you perform, and most importantly, how you show up for others.
These three rules define what buy-in really looks like and have ben developed through a career in Special Operations and a life of sports.
Rule 1: You Only Get What YOU Put Into It
Effort is the most honest form of feedback. What you invest, whether it is your attention, energy, discipline, or prepration, directly shapes what you gain. Some athletes have natural gifts that carry them through youth sports and even up through high school, but without consistent investment and effort, that is where the free ride is going to stop.
Athletes who expect results without commitment often feel frustrated, inconsistent, or overlooked. On the other hand, athletes who consistently invest in their process, especially when no one is looking, build confidence and momentum over time. The small decisions made every day create big returns on investment over the course of a career.
Buy-in begins when you stop asking what am I getting? And start asking what am I giving and where can I get better?
Rule 2: Your TEAM Only Gets What YOU Put Into It
Teams don’t magically become connected or resilient. They are shaped by the collective habits, attitudes, efforts, and behaviors of the individuals within the team. When we look at teams in a way that is similar to how St. Paul explains the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12), we begin to view a team as being made up of different parts that celebrates together, but also suffer together.
“And if one part of the body suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if a part is honored, all the parts rejoice with it.” (1 Corinthians 12:26)
We all play different roles within a team, but our individual actions can affect the entirity of the team and its ability to perform, connect, and succeed.
YOUR ENERGY affects the locker room.
YOUR EFFORT affects the standard.
YOUR ATTITUDE affects the culture.
Whether you’re a starter, a junior player, or a captain, your contribution matters. When athletes take ownership of their role and invest in their teammates, trust grows and performance follows. Teams don’t rise because everyone waits to be motivated. They rise when individuals choose to contribute for the greater good.
Rule 3: Never Turn Down an Opportunity to Get Better or Learn Something New
Growth requires humility and belief. The moment you believe you’ve learned enough is the moment that you stop improving. The moment you believe that your way is the best way, that is the moment you start to fall behind.
Every practice, conversation, setback, and adjustment offers information that can be used to get better, if you’re willing to receive it. Coachable athletes stay curious and look for opportunities to grow. Coachable athletes ask questions, seek feedback and recognize that development doesn’t end when things are going well.
Many times we learn things that go into a mental toolbox for a rainy day. The day that we finally go searching for the perfect tool for a problem set or obstacle might be weeks, months, or even years down the road. You might never use that specific tool but instead find yourself passing it along to a younger athlete down the road.
A simple realization that hit me later in life was that although I am experiencing a situation, my situational awareness is limited. I can see with my eyes, feel what I touch, and hear the sounds around me, but there is more happening beyond my reach. When I began to accept feedback from others I could fill in the gaps in my own knowledge and better understand how my actions influence the environment beyond my reach.
Your buy-in deepens when you commit to learning, even when it challenges your comfort or your ego.
The Final Truth About Buy-In
Buy-in CANNOT be forced.
Buy-in CANNOT be borrowed.
Buy-in CANNOT be given to you.
Buy-in IS self-manifested.
Buy-in is your internal choice to engage fully, to invest intentionally, and to commit to growth, regardless of the circumstances. When buy-in comes from within, effort becomes consistent, learning becomes continuous, purpose becomes internalized, and performance becomes sustainable.
The teams and athletes who succeed long-term arn’t waiting to be convinced to put in effort, they’ve already decided.
If you’re interested in developing a performance mindset that will take you to the next level in sports and life, fill out the contact form or set up a free 30-minute consultation.
~ Dr. Tyler